"OMG, there's a bug!!" You reach for the closest junk mail catalog or newspaper you can find. You tightly roll it into a domestic a nightstick raising it over your head and *SMACK!!!!!*, you end the bugs life. What happens to his little gross bug soul? Maybe it moves onto the next world, but MAYBE it stays here on earth roaming the counters of your house.
Bugs Don't Have A Soul
Well, a dog doesn't have a soul either and we say they all go to heaven. They even get to move onto the afterlife by trotting their filthy paws over a rainbow bridge. What bridge do bugs get to cross after we wack them with a shoe? Their little bug souls get to cross the mildewed soggy basement bridge to meet their maker.Also, I've met humans who don't have a soul, so I don't think it's a ghost prerequisite.
Ghosts Have Unfinished Business
Bugs have some unfinished business too. The cricket has some unfinished sitting in your basement and scaring the daylights out of you to do. The ant has some unfinished melted popsicle on the sidewalk to eat. This unfinished business seems meaningless, but to those bugs it's their world.
The Rate We Will Kill Bugs
It make sense that bugs would want to haunt us. We kill hundreds a year. Millions a year if you're the guy from the Orkin commercial. The rate of these bug murders alone is enough to make a case for bugs wanting to haunt us. Then you throw in the vile way we dispose of them, and I know they haunt us. Rolled up papers, shoes, paper towels, the toilet flush, the hand smack, sticky traps, and more, all demonstrate are level of disrespect to the bug's life.There is no honor in these disposals.
Ghost bugs are real and are probably roaming your house right now. Their little bug souls are waiting for closure to their murder. "Why'd they do it!", they'lll ask as they zig zag their gross ghost bug bodies across the floor. It's easy to want to play god when you have a rolled up newspaper in your hand, but just know there could be consequences, GHOST BUGS.
This showed up in my Twitter feed last night and I was engrossed in the thread like I was home alone with ice cream and a J.K Rowling novel. I didn't go to VCU, but I did work there for a year. That being said, I think we can all relate to this on some level if we've experienced college dining.
Shout out to VCU Dining for responding
In a few hours Trump will descend on Richmond, VA. With him will come arguments, fights, Homeland Security, Secret Service, protestors, arrests, insults, division and more.
Nothing good can come from protesting at the Trump rally.
It will only give everyone the snapshot they are eagerly waiting for outside the rally with their finger on the record button. It feeds the Trump media momentum. His brand bottom feeds off the negative. The angrier you get the stronger they become. He is like some sort of Sci-Fi movie villain.
People are going to be outside the rally tonight waiting to capture something with their cameras and disappointed if they don't. I've seen pics of the barricades getting set up, police on corners, we want so bad to make something out of this for content. Don't give them what they want!
If someone is attending this rally because they truly believe what Trump says, they are so far gone that no amount of "#ImWithHer" signs are going to change their mind.
Don't go. Let them have their rally. When you see the reports "Trump Rally In Richmond" just know that he might be holding the rally here, but that is not Richmond. The Richmond I know is fighting towards inclusion and moving away from division that defined its past. The Richmond I know is filled with people passionate about helping and lifting other in the community up. The Richmond I know does not get joy by tearing others down.
A slip, but it seems obvious that the mayor job is just a stepping stone for Levar Stoney. I admire his political ambition, but would be prefer ambition more focused and invested in the city of Richmond.
I'm still laughing at this zinger from Peterson.
At least they didn't announce him as "Toots and the Maytals"
What's more shocking about this is that Chris Hilbert needs a name tag. I'd recognized that head anywhere.
It turns out that $303,000 can get you someone to tweet for you during mayoral forums.
There was no bikini and hot dog cookout by candidate Mike D prior to the event :(
Well, that's going to make Thanksgiving awkward.
You can recite the menu by heart, but you peruse it for a bit so you don't look like a weirdo. The glassware shows its wear from years of being tossed around in the overfilled dishwasher. The table is clean, but it still resembles a fly trap in certain areas that catch the palm of your hand. The greeting from your server is "Are you all set to order?" You order your usual, and survey the packed house with a level of contentment that can only be brought by your neighborhood restaurant.
Their Facebook page has as many likes as the one you created for you dog 3 years ago. The only difference is you've updated your dog's page more recently. With 2 posts in 3 years it shines like a bat signal saying "We are what we are, and we aren't going to try too hard to be anything else". The page is sprinkled with upset comments from people who ventured in from outside the neighborhood. Each comment feels like a personal verbal attack on a loved one. "They just don't get it" I think as I stop myself from writing a snide comment back that I'll regret.
While we're waiting for our food the table is turned into a train track for the Thomas toys we brought. They careen off the table and loudly hit the floor. No one hears or cares. The food arrives. You quickly push your junk aside to make room. "Do you have everything you need?", you would normally utter some condiment, but not here, it's on the table. "Looks all good, thanks". This will be the last time you see your server until you've danced your french free through the last bit of ketchup on your plate.
It's refreshing that they don't fawn all over you and coddle to your every demand. If you ordered your burger medium well and it comes out medium, toss it in some ketchup and suck it up. This spot doesn't have to try too hard because it's real.
This place isn't going to get reviewed (It's last review was in 2007) You're not going to take pictures of your food to share with your friends to make them jealous that you dine at the hippest places. It's going to be here when those places are gone. Desserts in plastic wrap, burgers cooked to any temperature besides the one you request. This only adds to the charm. You overlook the faults because it means more to you than food. It's your neighborhood spot.
The imperfections are what I love best about my grocery store.
It's hard to see the faded parking lot lines, but I assume I'm in a spot based on the spacing of the other cars. It's raining and smoke is rising from a group of people huddled outside the front door of the store. An alarming sight if you don't see the "hot dog fundraiser" sign as the group douses mystery meat slathered in classic yellow mustard. I smile, politely pass on a dog, and the doors open to my grocery store.
What I Look For In A Grocery Store:
I pick my shopping cart and pull the assorted trash out pretending that there wasn't a dirty tissue in there. When rolling, it slightly leans to the left, but it's better than the inevitable broken wheel. Deflating graduation balloons adorn a beverage display. I think oddly placed deflating balloons might be the design theme of this place and I love it.
As I zig zag aimlessly through the aisles I realize my shopping trip has synced up with another shopper. I see this person in every aisle. I immediatly get paranoid that they think I'm following them. Person, I wasn't following you. I peruse the half stocked shelves with brand loyalty only to anything with a sale price.
Then....What the hell are these? One dollar for these wannabe Slurps. Sign me up. I'm certain after drinking this your mouth will look like you brushed your teeth with red markers.
My grocery store even has a tiny Richmond merch section tucked away in an awkward dark corner.If you were looking for a tiny teddy bear in a generic Richmond shirt, this is your spot.
As I'm leaving a worker is pushing a long line of carts. She moves them towards me and then moves them away saying "Wooooo" like a game of chicken. We share a laugh as she peaks through the hood of oversized yellow rain coat to say "I'm having too much fun out here" I think, "I love this place".
1. "Mayor Whatever"
Candidate Nate Peterson said he would sell his last name as ad space to raise money for Richmond Public Schools. He offers an explanation for that statement in a Youtube video he posted that was most likely shot in a Fan basement.
2. Twitter Call Out
Brad Froman is on Twitter and he is pretty funny. He's not shy about answering people's questions. He even declared that he would beat Jon Baliles. Although, it's unclear if he is talking about beating him in quantity of Twitter followers or a game of ping pong.
3. The Batmobile Of Local Politics
While we are on Twitter. Some unknown local hero started an account dedicated to the parking habits of candidate and councilwoman Michelle Mosby. She drives the Batmobile of local politics that you may have seen pop up on your Facebook. Join in the fun as they invite you to submit your own pics if you see it around town.
"If you see my Mosby-mobile around town, tweet a pic using #michellemosbyparking to bring awareness to my great parking jobs. Thanks y'all!"- @MMosbyParking
The race is young and many of the candidates haven't even submitted their 500 required signatures yet. But if this is a sign of things to come, this race is going to be a lot of fun and give us a lot content to laugh at.
Want to meet all the candidates?